I honestly deem myself to be the official unofficial self-proclaimed QUEEN of bargain shopping. I swear to you, this trait lies somewhere deep in my genes, it was passed on through generations of price hagglers, merchandise quality inspectors, objective value appraisers, and flat out eagle-eyed discount geniuses. My friends can attest that I have a pretty kick-ass wardrobe, but their jaws actually drop when I tell them where I find my stuff or how much I paid for it. I have a full mental archive of the best price for value items at the drugstore: makeup, nails, face care, hair products, you name it, I’ll always know the best brand for the cheapest price. I only buy groceries according to what is on sale. And, online shopping requires a lot of extra time for searching up comparative pricing and scouring for coupon codes. Sufficed to say, even though I am more than willing to pay a little extra for quality, I always search for the best value when it comes to anything that I spend my money on, which definitely includes my medical cannabis. So, when I saw that my dispensary offered a sativa strain priced at 5 grams for $20, or $4.20 a gram (with the 5% tax), I was certain that this was a price worth paying.

The strain I purchased is an outdoor-growing, fast-flowering, high-yielding, British Columbia-born plant, called Seawarp. She is a genetic cross of 3 strains: Sea Level x Ben Johnson x Texada Timewarp. The strain has nice big buds shaped like big triangle cones, and a good level of sparkle for an outdoor growing strain; definitely a very visually pleasing flower. Seawarp, is not very loud on the nose, but has a delicate mixture of very sweet and piney scents. Although, what is agreeable to the nose is not always delightful to the mouth, and the sweet terpenes of Seawarp can become greatly overshadowed by the harshness of this smoke. Essentially, she looks great from far away, but has a little bit of a bite if you come too close.

After recovering your lungs, you will notice a high from Seawarp that is pretty subtle and sort of creeps up. I have never tried Texada’s Timewarp, but judging by its name, its genetics are quite prominent in the initial Seawarp high. What I mean is that, when the effects come on, I will feel sucked into an intense cerebral whirl of thoughts, to the point where it gets hard to judge the objective amount of time that has just passed. I recall once stepping outside after rolling this strain into a joint, then walking back into the house and having to ask my partner how long I was standing out there, because I couldn’t tell. Despite their subtlety, the effects from this strain are very uplifting, and the clear-headed burst of energy is enhanced by a halo of contented happiness. Two out of three of Seawarp’s parents are actually indica dominant, so some sources say that this strain should have mild pain-relieving qualities and should also be great for menstrual symptoms. I started writing this review on day 1 of my period and I am finishing it off on day 3, on an empty stomach wake and bake, and I do not believe this strain to have any noteworthy pain-relieving qualities or cause anything more than just a slight body buzz. I honestly feel most of my pain being amplified anytime I use this strain, and I can not wait to finish this review and switch over to something that will actually medicate my cramping uterus and burning stomach. On the upside though, Seawarp does stimulate my appetite quite a bit, so I still consider her to be an overall worthy early daytime sativa.

There is something really thrilling and really rewarding about bargain shopping for me. Searching though sales activates something intensely primitive inside my soul, like an early gatherer woman only bringing back the ripest berries for the tribe. I also legitimately get a real high from knowing that I paid much less than the original retail value for anything from: canned vegetables, to designer bags, to strains of cannabis. For a strain priced at $4.20 a gram, essentially all it had to do what not give me a massive panic attack and I would be pretty happy with my purchase. Seawarp definitely went a bit above that and provided a great mental high, that wasn’t overly intoxicating, and also served as a relaxing yet stimulating daytime strain. This is, however, not a flower I could rely on for any physical therapeutic effects, and in high doses it even induces headaches for me. Therefore, the only thing that has allowed Seawarp to be a repeat buy, for me personally, is the magnificent price tag.