I have been apprehensive about starting this review for quite a while, mostly due to perfectionism anxiety and a small pinch of decision fatigue. The reason for my prolonged procrastination has been due mostly to the namesake of this strain. Basically, the title of Cherry Pie has had my head spinning in regards to which sexual innuendos I should focus on first. If you have read my previous work, it should be evident that sexual double entendres are my coups de coeur, and that I love to anthropomorphize my flowers, then talk about them like the girls that they embody. It is also evident that my cannabis Kryptonite includes strains with tastes resembling sweet fruit and berry, which are the ones that please my tongue alongside all my other senses. It is for these reasons that I have been putting this plant on a pedestal, and have consequently, been unable to find the perfect words to string together when I am around her. Although, I will try my best now to whip up a review as sweet as Cherry Pie, while also irresolutely attempting to refrain from using too many 90’s rock band references.

If I haven’t said it already, let me restate, that Vancouver BC is home to that good good weed. This past month I passed through a couple of dispensaries in Washington state and Portland Oregon, in order to quell my curiousity over what they were selling south of the border, and also to prematurely experience a legal market. I found that the services and stock did not differ too greatly from what is available here in Vancouver on the general grey market, although I felt greatly deceived and slightly robbed when examining the product that I received while also comparing the prices to Canadian dollars. In short, all of the bud I had purchased over the weekend was DRY and lacking flavour, it sort of reminded me of the schwag I first picked up when moving out to Montreal at 18 without any established contacts, just with an upgraded potency. Nonetheless, the time to lament is over, as I have on hand, some prime nuggets of home grown Cherry Pie ready to savour.

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The little popcorn nuggets give off a strong sour cherry aroma that makes you almost just want to pop them in your mouth straight from the jar. Although, keeping the patience to grind them up and smoke them will pay off greatly, as the smoke from this strain is the tastiest that I have ever experienced. Cherry Pie tastes barely of herb, and more so of tangy lemon and berry candy. The high is less distinct than the smell, but still hits in all the right places, delivering exactly what you would expect from an indica-leaning hybrid. She starts of slowly by delivering all around feelings of pure mellowness. Eventually, you come to realize that she has swapped out feelings of physical pain or mental sadness and exchanged them for a stubborn smile. A little while later, you will experience the cerebrally uplifting effects, and my moments alone with Cherry Pie have had me exploring deep caverns inside my mind. I can almost feel myself getting physically sucked into my own thoughts, and on one evening, I spent almost an hour immersed in thoughts about the profoundness of the present moment. I mean like how the present moment I was in was the most progressed that this world has ever been, and I was just here existing, for whatever reason, at the pinnacle of Earth society, by whim of all of the Universe’s randomness. Unreal right? Cherry Pie is like a well written comedy sketch, it starts out with furious laughter, but in the end leaves you with something smart to think about. This strain was able to take me on a trip in an “aeroplane over the sea” and it had me passionately pondering how truly strange it is to be anything at all.

2018-01-12

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