Let’s be real and admit that if you use cannabis often, it may start to leave certain traces on your appearance. And let’s be real again and say that smoking a lot of weed is not an excuse to start looking or smelling sloppy. An upscale stoner girl stays discreet and keeps most people in the dark about the way she enhances her life, unless she actually wants to share the light. It is not about closeting your habits, but more so about promoting your lifestyle in a much more positive light to outsiders. Someone who uses alcohol is not showing the good sides of their lifestyle when they stumble around in drunken stupor with liquor permeating their breath, just as someone who uses cannabis doesn’t make their culture seem attractive when walking around like a loud Pig-Pen style dust cloud. Additionally, over my years of smoking cannabis, I had neglected to consider the toll it might eventually start to take on certain aspects of my physical body. And so, the pieces of advice given here are not merely just handy “tips,” but crucial lessons based on years of experiences. I want the readers of this post to be extensively educated on how they may avoid damage from chronic cannabis use and I also want you to learn how to correct certain bad behaviors, in order to remain exceptionally vibrant, both inside and out.

1. Bright Eyes

Most methods of ingesting cannabis will cause some degree of eye dryness, although smoking is the most harmful culprit, as smoke in the air will also further irritate a person’s eyeballs. I’ve worn glasses since I was a child and contact lenses since the beginnings of high-school, and consequently, I was educated at a delicate age about the dangers of dry eyes. A chronic dry eye is a super scary thing, it can start with scratches on the surface of your cornea, and progress all the way to some serious vision loss. Learning these facts, I’ve carried optometrist recommended eyedrops with me since even before my heavy smoking days, fearing a world where my vision was somehow worse than it already was. The best drops in general, and especially for contact lens wearers, are ones that mimic your eyes natural tears; I personally like the green bottle that says Refresh Tears. That’s right, throw away those cliché bottles of Visine Red Eyes, because the best way to lube your vision domes is to frequently drop in some artificial tears and keep your eyes moist in the most natural way possible. It is essential that a sophisticated stoner girl have bright sparkling eyes, even if they are always busy staring into space.

 2. Dazzling Teeth  

I was educated on another scary health fact more recently by my stunning dental hygienist, on a less than routine dental visit. After being a lot more neglectful of my oral health than I had truly realized, I was forced to learn what early periodontitis is and what it was doing to my mouth. Basically, I had the beginnings of gum disease, which was causing my gums to start detaching from my teeth. If I had left it untreated and not gone in to see the dentist, the bacteria in my mouth could have gotten to the bones of my teeth, which would then cause my beautiful smile units to start falling out. Luckily the damage can be reversed if you act fast enough, though the incident had me wondering how my gums could have gotten to that state in the first place. I then discovered that: when the inside of your mouth is perpetually dry, it becomes much easier for bacteria to grow and multiply. (I made up the rhyme myself though). So, it turns out that if you are not careful, your chronic cotton mouth can become the cause of some gnarly dental issues, as well as bringing along a hardy side of stale breath. What this means is that, if you smoke often, you must be extra conscientious about brushing, flossing, and rinsing your mouth. I find specially formulated dry mouth products, such as Colgate Hydris mouthwash, to be especially helpful for cannabis related parchedness. To represent classy weed smokers, it is important to have teeth that remind people of trichomes, rather than of resin.  

 3.  Flawless Face 

When it comes to lessons about a lady’s face, time is often the cruelest, yet most informative teacher. I still remember the days of youthful reckless abandon that involved, sleeping in makeup, neglecting sunscreen, not knowing the definition of the word “comedogenic,” and still living to speak of it. Although, as time carries on and a woman starts to notice her facial features change, she usually starts to invest much more money and effort into saving her skin. I definitely became one of those women when I first realized my calendar age was closer to 30 than it was to 20 (don’t laugh- the earlier the better). However, even though my skincare routine was damn-near Korean, I was still noticing that my skin was not as fresh as it could be. I realized that being surrounded by weed smoke also meant being surrounded by some air pollution, which clearly was not very beneficial to my organ shelter (pollution=aging). This then meant that I had an extremely justified reason to spend even more money on some new skincare items. Charcoal is having its moment in beauty care right now, and although I have yet to find a favourite product, I definitely see the benefits of adding a charcoal wash or mask to really strip the toxins off of your skin. A second product I have found extremely beneficial is a glycolic acid toner, with the Pixi Glow Tonic as my current go-to. Glycolic acid is an ingredient in skincare items that exfoliates and plumps the skin to leave a bright and even complexion, and hence, a healthy-looking face. An elegant marijuana madam can always put her best face forward, even after putting several blunts to it.

 4.  Soft (& Clean) Hands 

Washing your hands is always important no matter what. Although, I am not using this space to talk about germ transmission, but rather, the transmission of foul odors through one’s environment. If you smoke joints or blunts you should know that most of the lingering weed smells are found right on your fingertips. In order to avoid reeking of burnt weed residue I carry a mini hand sanitizer with me anytime I go out to place where I can’t wash up right away. Not only do I often clean my hands with alcohol-based products, but I also clean all of the residue off of my glassware with isopropyl alcohol, often forgetting to protect myself with gloves. Therefore, even though I go about my life with clean hands and clear glass, my hands are often dryer than a neglected bong, and can look just as unacceptable. My solution is always having a purse sized moisturizer with me as I travel, as well as a reliable cuticle oil at home. I am obsessed with the Lush Charity Pot at the moment, since it is a lotion that is vegan, ethical, has natural ingredients, a delicate unisex scent, and gives back to the community. When a high-class woman passes the peace pipe, she does so with the softest hands in the circle.

5. Fresh Fragrance  

I know that I mentioned that most of the lingering odors involved with consuming weed end up stuck to your hands, but that doesn’t mean that washing your hands frees you of all the dank stank. Every woman should aim to turn heads, although emanating a skunky scent should never be the reason behind a stranger’s second glance. I personally have a deep hatred of enclosed spaces and need a heavy toke before subjecting myself to things like public transportation or shopping malls. Consequently, I am super conscious of making sure other people don’t hate being in an enclosed space with me as much as I hate being physically trapped with them. Therefore, I carry all of my travel materials within a scent concealing bag within my purse, but I also do this with the additional motive of keeping the amounts I may possess as private as possible. Secondly, in addition to my hand primping arsenal, I also make sure to carry a naturally fragranced body spray along with me. Essences like orange or vanilla are ideal for masking organic smells like cannabis and they also aren’t these overpowering scents that make it seem like you are trying really hard to hide something. The aroma of a polished pot-princess should resemble that of a gentle meadow, and not that of a fresh harvest.

 6.  Healthy Body 

It can be true that prolonged pot use makes some people fall victim to some unhealthy lifestyle habits. For me, there are times when I have cannabis induced food cravings and hedonistically opt for comforting carbs and sugar-filled beverages, even though I should be mature enough to make better choices. If you also have a munchies-monster inside you that can be hard to quiet down at times, the best advice is to only stock your pantry when you are in more of a controlled mind-state. I choose snacks that I know I won’t feel guilty accidentally binging on, like flavoured popcorn or healthier home-made treats. I also fight the urge to buy any juices or sugary drinks whatsoever, so that when I am at home and thirsty, my only beverage options will be either water or herbal tea. As a habitual cannabis user, it is especially important to be drinking more water than an average person. Most of the negative effects mentioned above are caused by cannabis-related dryness and can be easily avoided by increasing your water intake (and decreasing your caffeine intake). If you are someone who finds that cannabis can make you physically lazy, modify your weed routine to incorporate some physical activities. For example, make a commitment to take a walk while stoned instead of watching a screen. Or, if it is not feasible for you to do activities while high, reward yourself with cannabis only after completing a daily workout. A refined cannabis queen always feels just as good as she looks.

There are select people in the world that have to learn certain lessons the hard way, so that they can show all of the others out there how to do things an easier way. Those people are called teachers, and their chief purpose is to ensure that they are able to impart all of the wisdom that they had to suffer to earn. Life has taught me some things, in sometimes unforgiving ways, and all I hope now, is that my words can make time a little bit kinder to someone else like you. All of this advice will have you looking and feeling your very best, which will allow you to represent an upscale cannabis enthusiast, with an elevated existence, at the apex of her appearance.


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