If you were to ever meet me IRL (in real life) you would see that I am the type of person who is tough to get a real read on; it’s hard to break through my walls if you don’t know me, and even if you do know me, I will still be pretty reluctant to show my true colours all the time. But, if you read my writing, you will see me ramble on about my feelings, and see all of the raw and naked emotion that I usually keep very hidden away. My writing, even though it may seem like I’m speaking to someone else, is more of a dialogue between me and myself; and since I’m seeing myself as my only audience, there is nothing too personal for me to put down on paper (or a screen). This intro is just a warning to say that I am going to ramble a bit about my own life before I start to talk about this strain.

I am a Canadian that considers two cities in this awesomely diverse country to be my home. My first home is the progressive and scenic Vancouver area, where I was born and brought up for the first 18 years of my life. Montreal is my second home, it is where I was educated into the bright almost adult, I am today, and it is also where I happened to meet the love of my life. Unfortunately, though, the plans we make for our lives never turn out linear, and my partner and I have ended up in a somewhat forced long distance relationship type situation. I have obligations in beautiful B.C. but, I also have the freedom to spend a few months per year living and loving in the east coast’s belle province.

I exhausted the end of spring in Montreal, and on the flight home I of course remembered that my past self (bless her soul) had tucked away a nice treat to enjoy upon arrival, some fruity and pungent Pineapple Express. Tired and a tad jet-lagged I could not wait to break open the stash and discreetly vaporize some herb. I know from experience that this is not an optimal night time strain, especially not in smaller doses, but gurl, I had a pretty awful sleep that night. My poor sleep is probably mostly attributed to the 25-degree weather, the disorientation of travel, and the emptiness of the pillow beside me, although generally, this is not really a strain that an insomniac could depend on.

Click for a quick Strain Overview

Pineapple Express is a sativa-dominant hybrid that will initially overtake you with an intense cerebral focus. In a moderate to high dose I felt my inner voice get overwhelmingly loud. Basically, I became extremely fixated on my inner dialogue and felt the need to narrate my life to myself. I also wrote down earlier that I felt like I ‘needed to be my own radio,’ so I was singing songs to myself in my head instead of turning on actual music. I used Pineapple Express before I unpacked my whole life, and since it is a hybrid, it created a very Zen-like state of focus. I did everything very slowly and deliberately, and felt like I had all of the time in the world to do it. I spent hours not just unpacking, but completely cleaning out and reorganizing both my closet and my bathroom. Although, my focus was so intense that I could basically only do one thing at a time. I made the mistake of trying to multi-task and also heat up some food in the oven while organizing, but I was so immersed in my tasks that I came close to forgetting about it.

The intense and energetic buzz of Pineapple Express also makes it a potentially talkative strain and it can be an asset to certain social occasions, especially some spirited dancing, in my experience. Though it works equally well as an alone time smoke or an aid for a sour mood at any occasion. I have personally found it quite satisfactory for writing and creativity, being able to keep me on task without making me overly spacey. Primarily for my situation though, I have found Pineapple Express to be the most valuable as a medicinal aid to help me cope with my emotions. I have taken to smoking or vaping with this particular strain pretty much day and night to get through the crippling feelings of emptiness and depression caused by the initial stages of being away from my love. It’s tough to mend a hurting heart, but the uplifting, giggly, and psychedelic full body high of Pineapple Express has been a pretty great distraction from the current shitty parts of my life.

Pineapple Express is a definite creeper of a strain and the high lasts a long long time; after the intensity starts to mellow out the indica effects will really make themselves present. I felt my eyes droop somewhat early on in the high, but then eventually my movements will catch up and start to slow down to a complete stop. I also experienced those munchies that make you feel like you could eat the entire fridge. In some occasions, I found that if I sat down right away after smoking that I would become stuck in couch lock, either staring into space or putting my head down. Lastly, and definitely most importantly, after eventually drifting off, I was able to have some fun in my sleep. Let me elaborate. Since this strain puts me in more of a lucid, rather than deep sleep, I was able to allow myself to have orgasms while I slept and dreamed. Ladies, if you didn’t know this was possible, it surely is; you just have to believe it to achieve it, and the lasting body buzz of this strain certainly helps.

Click for Strain Poetry

To finally conclude, I would say that overall, this may not be the most outstanding strain that you will come across. The most unique selling point of Pineapple Express is that it feels so tropical, redolent of pineapple and mango and accompanied by a nice sweet smoke that tastes like apples, citrusy orange, and a hint of some earthiness. I have also heard from others that this plant is pretty easy to grow, it stands super tall and produces a great yield. All in all, it is not the dopest dope I’ve ever smoked, but I would say it’s worth it to delight your senses with a taste of Pineapple Express.

2017-05-31

Skip to toolbar